10 Seconds from the Hairbrush

Samuel: Tonna continues to have an issue with being late, something I have great difficulty with. She admits that before we met she was late to virtually everything; in fact when I met her she had a job where she was supposed to be there at 10 but did not consider herself late unless she arrived after 10:30!

I, on the other hand, have always been a punctual person, usually arriving 5-10 minutes earlier than scheduled. She does not understand this at all. When she has made us late she has been spanked for it, and she has improved, but it is still an issue.

Saturday afternoon we went to church. I reminded her when it was an hour before church, and also 45 minutes. I had a couple of errands to run, and I told her to make sure she was ready to hustle out the door when I returned. I got back about 5 minutes before we needed to leave in order to get to church before the service started … and she was still in the bathroom applying makeup. (She is quite gorgeous without makeup or jewelry but always has to be primping herself.) I told her we needed to go … and she kept on doing whatever she was doing in the bathroom. I considered actually taking her by the arm and pulling her along, but I decided she should have the chance to prove her responsibility.

I almost always spank with my hand, though we have a number of implements (plus the belt that I wear every day). But I decided that if she made us late to church she was going to get the hairbrush, an implement she quite abhors (and which I make her carry in her purse so that every time she opens it she gets a reminder of what can happen when she severely misbehaves).

When we were right down to the minimum time, I told her we absolutely had to leave and likely were going to be late. At that point she came along.

Now we both know that we need to put God first at church, and not be in conflict, so I knew I had to let it go and not enter the church in anger. We jumped in the car and I hurried to the church, which is quite close by. We had two traffic lights to go through, and I figured that if we missed either one of them we would be late. But as fate had it, we made them both. We parked and hustled to the sanctuary; just as we entered, the music began and the congregation rose. We had slipped in by the skin of our teeth! Ten seconds later and she would have tasted the hairbrush after church!

I also decided, though, that this kind of behavior is too stressful for us both. It’s not enough that we just barely made it; we need to be ready so that we can get where we are going without stressing about being on time. Especially to church. From now on I am going to give her a specific time to be out the door, and if she does not meet it then she will be spanked … even if we do manage to get to church on time….


Tonna:  Life is short, being stressed all the time just isn’t worth it to me, so somewhere along the way I’ve adopted a philosophy of “I’ll be there when I get there.”  Yes, I’ve been routinely late to work, yes I’ve been late to appointments, yes I’ve had people standing around waiting for me – granted not by much but nevertheless….

And yes, my bottom has routinely been turned over my HOH’s lap lately to correct this deeply ingrained bad habit.  It’s true, as Samuel mentioned that even when I am on time it’s usually because I’ve been speeding while driving, running around in haste trying to get where I was going and getting all panicked and hyper anyway – in spite of my resolution to “be there when I get there” i.e., take a calm, cool approach to the punctuality issue. 

So, I end up either being late or being on time by the skin of my teeth but only with excessive rushing involved as was the case with getting to Church this past Sunday.  Apparently, I’m not as perceptive as I would like to think elsewise Samuel is a master of disguise because during the service, I sincerely had no idea he was perturbed with me and was making a concerted effort to put his emotions in check for the sake of us getting peacefully through worship together.  Actually, truth be told I was quite proud of myself that we had made it on time – a fact I had bookmarked away to remind him about later – especially after his repeated statements that left no room for doubt that we would in fact be late. 

Though it will be a painful change for my nature to get in the habit of being ready to leave when Samuel says we must I know I will find it much more painful to be disciplined via that insufferable hairbrush each time I fail.  So I’m on the path to conversion!  Pray for me!  Please?!? 




About Samuel and Tonna Elary

We are a new Christian Domestic Discipline couple sharing our experiences. God bless!
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2 Responses to 10 Seconds from the Hairbrush

  1. Hilary C says:

    Tonna sounds passive aggressive, disrespectful and very selfish. I’m a grown woman and I would not stand for this behaviour from a child, let alone an adult. She demonstrates a lack of courtesy and good manners as she states she keeps everyone waiting. it’s time people just left Tonna at home and moved forward, because I’m guessing she is subconsciously being tardy to get attention.

  2. - says:

    While chronic lateness can be a medical condition, it can also be symptomatic of a passive/aggressive tendency. It becomes a way for a woman controlling a situation or a man. in other words, chronic lateness can be a passive tantrum. If this is the case, then the woman should be spanked as if she were being punished for a tantrum.

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